Last song

What is the last song you want to hear before you die?

The Passage of Shave

My shaving days began when I was 4. I always used to see my father and my two brother stand in front of the mirror and shave, and I always wanted to do the same. So one morning, after my brother Kash finished his shave, I politely asked that if I could do the same. He picked me up, put me on the bathroom counter next to the sink, squeezed a bit of shaving cream into his hands and lathered my four year old face up with shaving cream. I thought it was the coolest feeling, I felt just like a big kid. Then, hoping my brother would take his razor and shave my face, took the end of the popsicle stick which I had just finished eating and began to "shave" my face. After he had finished, I ran down the stairs with enthusiasm as I showed my parents my "new smooth face." As I turned to my father, I saw his face turn red in anger as he proceded to scold my brother telling him that "He's too young; your teaching him to shave, that's wrong, he might do it on his own; the shaving cream will burn his skin." My brother turned to me and said "okay, kiddo, no more for you." From that day, I waited till I could shave.

For the past 6 years of my life I've been shaving with an electric razor, you know the kind w/ 3 blades that cost 20 bucks and each replacement blade was 15, but you only had to replace it once in a while. Part of the reason I used the electric razor was because for some reason my father refused to let me shave with a proper razor. He claimed that my skin was "too young" and "too soft" and that a razor would merely cut my skin up. After that, I never once again asked my father if I could shave with a razor, fearing that all I would get would be a scolding or a lecture. I still waited on the day I could shave properly.

Today, I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed how scruffy my face was looking. I walked downstairs and told my dad "Morning dad, your gonna teach me how to shave." My father followed me up the stairs, and gave me a step by step process, from lathering, to the strokes to take, everything. I gladly let him explain to me everything, even though I already pretty much knew how to do it. I always percieved shaving as a father/son bonding experience and a passage of adulthood, which is why I wouldn't have let anyone else show me. He was so excited and happy that he got to teach me, he even offered to shave for me (which I refused in fearing that my father would accidentally cut me). His enthusiasm and pride in teaching me was all I wanted out of my first shave, it really showed me how much he cares. At the end of the shave, he was my typical dad and proceded to make some stupid joke about shaving pubes, silly, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

No more Earrings

On July 11, 2009 I decided to no longer wear my earrings. I don't know what prompted me to do it so randomly, but I do know that I did it to make a better impression on everyone else. The fact is that people do judge you, for better or for worse on your image, and my earrings don't really represent myself, or at least the way I am now. I don't see myself as the "hoodlum," or the "lower class," member of society that is sometimes associated with earrings and Indian families. Even if my great grandfather and my grandfather wore diamonds in their ears to show their wealth, I realized I don't live in the turn of the 20th century, times are different now.

I'm 20 now, no longer a teen. I guess its time for me to act and look like an adult, a businessman, and hell...maybe even a husband in this decade. A new decade awaits ahead...

New Hobby or Latent Passion

So lately I was thinking about picking up a new hobby, something new to learn, preoccupy my time, but something that I could do while I was doing one of my other hobbies. Then it hit me: photography. It may seem that I am just trying to emulate the recently graduated Subodh Kolla, yet the more I think about why I want to pick up photography the more I realize that I have been wanting to do this for longer than I thought.

I think it all started back freshman year of high school, when we had an art contest held for our school. My friend Chris Cortes wrote, played, and recorded his own music for the music category (which he won first, second, and third place since there was no competitor), a few people painted (which I have no talent for), and the third category was photography. Upon hearing this I went out and bought a Sony Cybershot 5 megapixel (which was big for its time) and figured, "how hard could this be." I had my mom drive me to the beach the next day, took a picture of the surf and thought, "hey maybe i'll win it." After I took the pic, I realized the lightening was terrible, and the picture, when blown up became extremely pixelated. Obviously, I had lost the competition, my picture probably thrown out and laughed out. This may have discouraged me from taking my camera out and about for the next few years.

Throughout high school, and mostly into my college career, I was exposed to more and more photography, mostly through Bo, Shy's stepmom Wendy and somewhat through David Wagner, and Subodh. My view on photography completely changed when I went up to Monterey and Wendy gave me a calender of the pictures she had taken from the previous year. The photos truely amazed me and I realized that an actual physical picture can mean a lot, more than just a mental image.

So we'll see where if I end up actually picking photography up and see if I enjoy it.

Goodbye Vicrum

So today was the last day I'm going to see Vicrum in around 7 months, he decided to go through with study abroad and is now going to attend Delhi University for Summer and the next quarter. Its going be really weird not seeing him around, talking to him almost daily, etc. I'm gonna wonder, how is he going to change in those 7 months? I always say, trips change you, especially big trips. I think he will be just fine though, perhaps come back more mature than ever, after seeing the harsh realities of the world: poverty, slums, beggars, waste, litter, polution, corruption, etc.

Perhaps while is gone, I will change as well. Vicrum to me is usually one of those fun loving guys that I love to goof around with, and he still always will be that guy to me. Yet, with him not around, I may have to abandon that side of me and become more mature on my end. And who knows, when he comes back, we both may enter a new level of maturity together, rather than just joke around with each other, which needless to say, just shows that time moves by very fast, one minute you have no worries, the next minute you have responsibility.

The Balanced Life

I think that our lives should all have a proper balance of things and the time that is given to us should be enough time to do everything we want. We all have our needs: social needs, physical needs, mental needs, hunger needs, sexual needs.

Morning:
Gym, satisfies your body's needs
Breakfast, satisfies hunger

Work day (school day)
8 hours of mental stimulation
Lunch

Post-work:
Possible nap (rest)
Dinner (can be social if with a friend)
Hanging out w/ friends, drinks (social needs)

then rest and do it all again the next day

The Power of Music

I am currently studying for finals and I remembered a thought I had for awhile now. Music is such a powerful tool and concept in the world. Music can change people's emotions, put them in a certain mood, inspire them, motivate them, music can really change the world.

Currently, I am listening to Piano Concerto No. 9 in E Minor by Mozart on my Pandora. Before this I really had my doubts about how productive I would be studying today, yet putting this radio station on has motivated me, put me in a study mood. Music really truly an amazing thing.

Striving for Success

So I realized I haven’t updated this in quite a long time. A lot has been going through my mind lately, yet I have completely have forgotten to write it down.

One of the things that has been going through my head is a question I ask myself a lot, what are the qualities of a successful person? What makes a successful person, successful? Malcolm X came up with this concept in his autobiography, if someone has more than you, then they are doing something that works better than what you are doing. Which leads me to the question, what do those successful people do?

Lately, I’ve been seeing that many successful people go out on their own, branch away from the norm. They put themselves in places and situations that they may not be so comfortable in, yet they manage to meet new people and succeed in those situations. My goal: branch out more.

In other news, I’m in Chicago right now for Mihir’s wedding, and its awesome, man how I miss this place.

where will life take me now?

I just sorta feel that life moves soo fast, and I'm behind it, struggling to catch up. for the past week I've just sorta been doing my own thing and next thing I know, I am behind in everything, school work, friends, music, life in general. So now I am at the library desperately trying to catch up with everything...oh how life moves.
In other news, I am extremely excited that Reza is going to UCI next year and living one more year in 1420!

Do Work Son

My goal this quarter is to not to dwell upon the menial problems of others as much, and also not to dwell upon my silly problems and focus more on my work. I know this may seem a bit selfish, but I realize that I am at college not just to meet new people and such, but to also study. Over the past year and a half I have came to the conclusion that if I just buckle down and do my work everyday then I will become a better student. So we'll see how this goes...

Death

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."-Rabindranath Tagore

Parents and School

Throughout my life, I never really could tell my parents (especially my dad) any of my problems at school because I would always hear the same response of "work harder, study more" etc. etc. I would always lie a little bit to them, only tell them all my good grades and leave out all my struggles.

On the car ride home today, I was talking to my dad about school and I decided to tell him all my frustrations and I admitted to him that I bombed my math final. Expecting the worst, I braced myself, yet I was pleasantly surprised by his reaction.

My father, always on the aggressive side of issues, surprised me by telling me that everything will be okay, as long I am learning nothing else matters to him. He told me some of his frustrations in college. His attitude and his demeanor to the situation comforted me and motivated me more than any of his scoldings in the past. His words felt so good and moment of happiness came to my head as I reflected on how much I love my father.

For those who say "people don't change,' they are wrong.

1st Blog

So, I've been wanting to do this for awhile, but I never really got the chance too until today. This made me realize, I haven't been doing a lot of things that I have been wanting to do.
- Surfing
- Hiking
- The list goes on....

Hopefully this upcoming break I will be able to enjoy the things that I have been wanting to do, and I really hope that these things become habits that extend throughout next quarter.